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06 January 2007 @ 11:55 pm
Christine S 2,Nov 1961 - 31, May 1979  

Wow I finally got up enough nerve to check this place out did some reading before I sat to write seems like most here are young that wont include me I am a battle hardened Police Officer / Fire Fighter Paramedic of 18 years. I spent too many of them years just sucked it up and looken for the worm in the bottom of my bottle. See when I started on the trip through life it was not cool to talked about stuff that bothered you. I would rather chase an armed thug through a dark alley that let anything out and it worked for a while then just as all good things end so did my keeping it locked up. I don’t really even know how to start I have never had anything hurt this much or stay with me this long, It started in the winter of1979 I was a real popular kid at school,,,,, wile I was not running to the library or the office to keep from getting my ass kicked as all good little nerds did I took a class that was as far from being me as anything could have been drama yea cool a nerd in acting class, well I soon learned that I was not the only one in the class and I also being on stage was a small part of it there where props to make and wires to be run. That was where I met her it was her final year of school and I had 2 more. She kind of just kept an eye on me let me know I was not alone. We did 2 productions a year one in fall and one in spring well the fall production went with out a problem. I felt a bit more part of something it was the stage crew that stuck together and the actors well they had there own little thing. Springtime came and it was time for another play. It went well no, it went great! Everyone was so jazzed about how it went. The people left the actors and actresses got their flowers and the stage crew sat and took a breather then it was brake down time as we worked late into the evening. Chris she did the lighting she was good to she was always up in the lighting booth so we did not see much of each other during the performance. As things ended I was walking to the front of the auditorium she yelled down to me and as I looked up she tossed me down a long stem red rose and even as dark as it was the light of her smile was as though the spot light was on just me. We just looked at each other. I did not know that would be the last time I would ever see her again. She was killed in a car accident the very next day. Well it was a motorcycle accident a person turned in front of her. She was killed a few blocks from my house god this is ripping my heart out see back then they did not clean the road after like they do today I just sat there for hours and cried. This was 27 years ago and it seems like yesterday. I have never really been able to find words for my loss, but Kenney Chesney was able to he did a song called who you’d be today. The first time I heard it she came too me and I knew it would that song. I still cry as hard for her today as I did those 27 long years ago. They tell me there are just some things you don’t get over. Chris i will love you forever and miss you everyday.

 
 
Current Location: home
Current Mood: crushed
Current Music: bob seger kenny chesney
 
 
 
Daylebluelinegoddess on January 7th, 2007 08:40 am (UTC)
Thanks for sharing. It seems all the good ones are the ones taken so soon, doesn't it?
maynard101: C-2 at workmaynard101 on January 8th, 2007 06:00 am (UTC)
Christine S 2,Nov 1961 - 31, May 1979
yea it does thanks for you comment and well wishes im kinda at a loss of what to say guess that has not changed in 27 years
inference on January 7th, 2007 11:37 am (UTC)
That's such a sad story, hopefully it helps a little to talk about it. Take care.
maynard101: C-2 at workmaynard101 on January 8th, 2007 06:02 am (UTC)
Christine S 2,Nov 1961 - 31, May 1979
i hope not much has but im talking to some friends that knew her too
squid_inksquid_ink on January 7th, 2007 01:57 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry.. .life can seem so unfair. Chris is always with you in your heart.

I know she thinks of you too.

PS You're not the only oldster out there.. I just turned 45 years young. I'm alot less uptight now than I was when i was in my 20s.
maynard101: C-2 at workmaynard101 on January 8th, 2007 06:04 am (UTC)
Christine S 2,Nov 1961 - 31, May 1979
well that makes me feel a bit younger lol thanks for your comments and yes she will always be in my heart
maynard101: C-2 at workmaynard101 on January 11th, 2007 07:00 am (UTC)
Re: Christine S 2,Nov 1961 - 31, May 1979
At the time I posted her name on 2 web pages I have. I could not remember her middle name and when Ok this one I don’t quite know how to deal with. I dedicated a song to Christine on two I was reminded I went to my web pages to add her middle name to my complete shock her middle name was added and it was not by me and no one NO ONE has my passwords or even knew her no one in my family, I don’t know how it got there but both sites its there as god is my witness I did not add it yet there it is it was there last night it was there to night. I find this just a bit unnerving to say the least no one new I was going to do it but I cannot argue with the print it is there. I find my self in a surreal half wake half asleep dream state the feelings are so strong memories so clear crystal clear I can smell all the smells I was hoping that it was just an over active teenager memory yet as l look at her picture it is the same every bit the same how could her middle name be added if I did not do it I am at a total loss. I’m a cop for gods sake I deal with the real not what ifs I just don’t get it.
maynard101: C-2 at workmaynard101 on January 16th, 2007 08:38 am (UTC)
still missing you chris
i rememberd you have a twin brother, but he has evaded my atempts to find him and I really dont know what i would ever say to him, my loss compaired to his is nothing a cant comprehind loosing one of my sisters. chris is with me everyday i really cant explaine the feeling it is such a hurt but it is such a comfort too,and i guess that is what i dont understand how it can be both at the sametime i dont get still being in love with someone that is dead. and i dont have a clue how to stop if i wanted to