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28 January 2007 @ 03:35 am
my Eturnal flame  
Hey Christine
I wish you where here seems like it has been forever. I just try to go on I know that is what you would want me to do, I just wish there was a way to stop this pain it is an I don’t want to go on any more pain. My heart just aches everyday. What hurts the most is the not knowing, my life every aspect of it would be or could be so different. I know I have 2 great kids, I know our kids would have been just as beautiful just as loving but they would not be the to I have now. I was listening to some music Toby Keith has a song “When we where in love” if I could invent a time machine maybe we could both be 17 again. There is not a day that goes by I don’t hurt so bad to just be able to go back, some people come into your life for just a blink of an eye and leave you the rest of your life to figure out why. I know I will never will I know it was the greatest blink of an eye I have ever had, my friend Anna said she thinks your still watching over me, I don’t know there are a lot of things I don’t know. I know that some strange things have been going on that I can’t really explain. It is nice just to think you are there with me more then just in my memory. She said that is the way it should be. I know sometimes if I turn my head I catch a glimpse of someone looking over my shoulder it feels so warm with you their god knows that there are so many I have left dead a warm smile is a welcome change from what I normally see. I know one day you will slow down just for a minuet and I will get to see your face again and maybe an embrace. Well love its that time I must go I try so hard to have my dreams be just of you and I. Chris I want you to know I treasure every memory I have of you. I love you and miss you but you know that but I still like to tell you once in a wile. See you tomorrow yours forever.

I have been having a blog at http://www.hoverspot.com/calvin2 please feel free to come by and leave any comments
it just turned into more than a one page thing
Current Location: home
Current Mood: very sad
Current Music: Kenny Chesney